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JennaCard

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Inspired by last Tuesday's "NVC Gone Bad", this week we endeavoured to right the 'wrongs' with a NVC based Repair process.  A group of 12 adults plus the wee baby (5 wks old and was an absolute joy to have present) started the evening with a grounding mediation and opening circle. We then started to explore the idea of Repairs.  
 
The premise of a repair is that there is an event or act that occurred that resulted in a broken connection in the experience of one or both of the parties. From the intention of restoring connection, the person who did the act, the Repairer, reaches out to the receiver of the act, the Repairee, to offer empathy for the affects of the event. In order to have the best possibility of success, the Repairer needs to be able to hear the Repairee and respond with empathy even if the Repairee expresses pain and judgement. There were definitely collective some AHha! moments at how important is it or the person initiating the repair to have received empathy, from self or other, before requesting the repair and for the true intention of the repair being to restore connection (vs being heard, receiving empathy or changing behaviour).
 
After introducing and exploring the concept in the larger group we divided into pairs to begin to reflect on places in our lives where there is opportunity for repair, what it feels like to have disconnection and the impact on our selves and our relationships. Back in the large group, we were invited to share what disconnection feels like in our bodies and in our relationships. With the general consensus of "yuk!", we return to pairs to receive empathy for one specific experience of a break in connection. By receiving empathy, we have completed the first step of the Repair process!
 
We then walked through the entire Repair process with curious excitement to explore and understand each phase. After a brief demo of the process, we returned to our pairs once again, allowing each person time to role play their specific example using the model outlined (see attached document). Oh the energy of the room! The whole group was enlivened by the opportunity to explore and experiment with a whole new way to "make right" the so many times in our humanness we act unconsciously or not in the way we'd really love to!
 
Acutely aware that exploring disconnection can be triggering, I requested a quick round of a single word from everyone, taking a temperature of the group. I was thoroughly rewarded, reassured and relived to hear the uplifting and hope-full responses. The group closed with very insightful harvesting, sharing personal revelations and excitement for the possibility of brining repairs into our lives with the clear intention of re-building heartfelt connections.
 
I deep gratitude for everyone present. Your enthusiasm, honesty and engagement made facilitating an absolute joy for me!
-- Jen Card




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Jenna Card
CNVC Certified Trainer
https://www.heartspring.ca/
Jim

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this was a really fun workshop to facilitate!  [smile]
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